...whenever that begins for you, life was constructed on a series of choices. Whether in your world Adam had the choice to eat an apple from Eve (Steve? Ada & Eve?), or humans had the choice to dominate their sibling and now deemed lesser than animal counterpart, there is choice. There are decisions being made. During this all too weird, blissful, tiring, and necessary month off from my academic programming and work position, I had time to meditate and reflect, leading me here, to this poignant positioning of choice, will, and decisions as a forefront idea in these coming months.
There is much space for me to be angry. So much space to feel frustrated, and much space to blame others. However, that is too easy. I can also choose to reflect inward, adjusting my own self, my own anger, my own frustrations, and assuming blame for my own behaviour. Of course the world combusts around us with billions trying to navigate it all at once, so this perspective is a fleeting one, not fixed. There are many factors in much of what happens around me, however, I can only control my own reaction, my own decisions, my own choices. Therefore, I channel that frustration inward seeking positively to do something with it. Which is not simply "doing something positive" as we can do many seemingly "positive things" that we bear no responsible to or real stake in. In a way, I am owning up to many own fears (again), and connecting the very real dots as to who I truly am: an insecure, scared, doubtful child who has to overcome fear itself in order to live and not die, a person who fights to their death to maintain optimism in order to not crumble and fall before her time, a beautiful soul being gradually freed of her false sense of limitations. I take this quite seriously as I believe these decisions I make are literally a matter of life and death.
Every dreamer might once dream a dream of destiny huddled tightly in a particular idealized place in the universe. Every dreamer might once fail to escape the truths of reality.
As I pause my reading over at Shala's Rabbit Hole, a rabbit hole indeed, I stop to reflect on my own dreams I once held for New York City. We have a relationship, it's just one in which I am still trying to properly put into words. Vocabulary limitations aside, I seem to always dream in location. When I was eight years old moving from Jamaica to The Sates, my mom decided to inform me of said move, the morning of our one-way flight to the new paradise. I said goodbye to my friends and all I had known, with the same amount of shock they probably had, but a lot less sadness. I was stress-free. The concept of home would later become a constant point of contention. It was as if I had such limited time to dream, that it all came flooding at once. I can't tell you what I thought I'd expected at that time, but I remember thinking my moving to America was something I should be excited for, despite the fact that within less than 24 hours, I was leaving everything I knew behind.
I’m no music scholar nor sound engineer, but I am a creative who believes music can be one of the most transparent forms of communication. And though our practice varies in medium, musicians are artists after all. These are my thoughts on music.
I wouldn't say I grew up around a shared sense of value for good music. I didn't have parents who counterintuitively taught me to respect legendary sounds or a brother who respected music outside of mainstream. I guess the only thing I have to thank them for in regards to music is Michael Jackson, and of course, gospel. Gospel music was the standard sound in my house and in a sense, despite my lack of well-rounded exposure to music, it was where I first got my sense of satisfaction through music as feeling. I often have a very spiritual connection to a song, despite genre. I'd say not much has changed, even when it comes on to music of "immorality." In Wildheart, Miguel's third album released, he plays with the idea of being an immoral, a sinner. With tiles like "...goingtohell" "FLESH", and even "leaves" there is an obvious nod to immorality and faith. It's deliberate nature might not be enough to get typically moral folks to entertain the idea, but it's "a beautiful exit" from the norm when you dig a bit deeper. There is a time and space for everything, even immorality. This album seems set in death. Only here, hell isn't a nightmare, we are simply in his "dreams" (Pitchfork). The cloudy visuals, an opening track titled "a beautiful exit" spouting lyrics such as "We're going to die young" aren't unintentional. This album seems set in Miguel's fantasy of what it would be like to live unholy with no impunity. This album wastes no time, from the very beginning, we are already deep in Miguel's imagination, an imagination that flows from one song to the next, even in their titles.