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PROBE & QUERY || FASHION & I ARE... [3]

...not getting married?

Well this is awkward.


If you haven't noticed, this blog is kinda centered on fashion. There are aspects of me that shine through in the way I write about fashion, i.e. my love for art, or highlighting and uplifting voices around topics of under-represented identities etc., but despite this, I began this blog with the intent to solely discuss fashion. Well, that has changed. My relationship with fashion is one that is rather complex in nature, but has surprisingly become quite simplified as of late. Quite frankly, I'm the kid in the car asking "Are we there yet?" to a destination that may or may not ever be located. PS: That's kinda the philosophy I have now applied to all aspects of my life. 

I entered high school not thinking much about fashion, in fact, my first two years I was a pre-law concentration student, I later discovered fashion, did a sewing class, thought I'd study fashion marketing in college, then didn't. I thought, "...maybe after undergrad." Well undergraduate studies has come and will soon be slipping out of my grasp and here I am, yet again, saying "...maybe in a year ...or ten?" 

The thing I am quickly realizing, is while fashion is a way of expressing oneself, it is not really my primary outlet anymore. Rather, it's an interest. A strong one, but subordinate none the less. This was rather challenging to come to terms with given I have put so much expectation and hope in my predicted relationship to fashion, not to mention the hours spent daydreaming about such. While I am being guided to pursue and live outside of my mind, fashion is just simply not in the equation of this phase of my life anymore, not in the way I'd expect. It is still there. I don't think that'll ever change. In fact, I plan on playing around with street-style photography in my free time during this upcoming school year, so it's not like I want a divorce, I just came to the awkward realization that we were just...never married.

As of late, my (Gemini) love for communication has truly manifested itself in my blossoming head-over-heels relationship to video, photo, and my community (Caribbean - Jamaican). This is what I'll pursue. I think I should be led by my passions, and right now, that's where my heart is. Who knows? Maybe these skills I am learning outside of fashion are meant to guide my relationship back into fashion. But for now, we're on a mutual break. Sorry fashion, maybe take a reign-check on that walk down the isle? So long as I get to keep the Balmain wedding suit.

Fashion and I may still be working on defining our relationship terms, but the blog certainly won't be hindered by that, in fact, I think it will be strengthened. I am expanding myself to freely cover content that I am interested in- that's the simple part. Fashion may still be a large part of that, but it certainly won't be the only. I am so thrilled to have this space. It is going to be a refreshing outlet for me as I continue to live outside of my head and search for my voice and purpose.


Well, that felt good.

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